"Unfriend"

The publishers of New Oxford Dictionary have deemed "unfriend" as the 2009 new word of the year. To unfriend means to remove someone from your friend list on a social network like Facebook or MySpace. Christine Lindberg, Senior Lexicographer for Oxford's US dictionary program said it is an excellent choice because of the word's, "currency and potential longevity." Now, we not only have a legitimate word for ending friendship, we also have the convenience of doing so simply with the click of a button. "Unfriending" someone in cyberspace is much less messy than having the guts to do so face to face.

And why would we ever unfriend someone? The answer to that question is easy enough. I unfriend someone who sees the world contrary than I, someone rubs me the wrong way or simply annoys me by their status updates. To unfriend someone Facebook or MySpace gives me permission to make friendship all about me. As long as the friendship gives me what feels good, then I keep you on my list, but say the wrong thing and without you even knowing it, I will unfriend you.

Now, I am all about healthy boundaries. And to be frank, there are some "friends" that are so unhealthy that they should have been unfriended a long time ago. However, one has to wonder if our culture has so turned friendship into "what's in it for me" that we are missing out on a key element. The true value of friendship is not just receiving what feels good, but being able to learn to love someone and be loved by someone even though our opinions differ, our personalities clash and view points are polar opposites. It is very interesting to me...in a day that so espouses the value of tolerance, we seem to be increasingly intolerant. Rather than see our differences as something to either work through or to learn to accept and still love one another, we have now created a word to legitimatize only keep friendships that always make me feel good or never challenge what I think.

While they New Oxford Dictionary may name "unfriend" the word of the year, the Christmas story of the Bible tells me that in God's vocabulary there is only one word that ever deserves to be named word of the year...if God was allowed to truly be in control of this world, our lives and of the church, then the same word would be named word of the year every year, "LOVE." The kind of love that loves like this: "You have heard that it was said 'Love your neighbors and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons and daughters of your Father in heaven," Jesus in Matthew 5:43-45. Well, when he puts it like that, it does not give us much room to leave the 2009 word of the year in our vocabulary, does it? At least not if we want to consider ourselves His sons and daughters.