Tuesday, February 24, 2009

"Release"

This past weekend, I traveled out of state to observe and let God speak through two churches. As we were packing up to head home, I realized that my coat was missing. It had become my favorite coat. Bonnie Watson from Living Hope had snatched it from her son's garage sale rack. It was a looked-like new brown, leather jacket. It fit great and it was juts warm enough, but not too warm of a coat. We turned the hotel room and then the vehicle upside down looking for that coat. We never found it. I did not even wear it on Saturday as I had a heavy sweater on and did not need it. We concluded that it must have fallen out of the car the night before and in the dark we missed it. Kimberly wanted us to retrace our tracks and see if the coat was laying in a parking lot, but since it had snowed the night before and because the chance seemed slim in finding it I decided to accept the loss.

"Accept the loss"...that is a power pact phrase for me, how about you? I like to fight against loss, live in denial of loss, get mad a loss, resent loss, mourn loss...but accept loss...well, that comes much less naturally. However, in week four of sabbatical, God seems to be helping me to relearn release. Release means I open the death grip and just let go...accept the loss...release things from my control to God's. God seems to be inviting me to release several things these days of sabbatical. Frankly, some of it tics me off and some of it breaks my heart and some of it makes me ask a good ole', "Why?" However, my Father, is so gentle and patient. He shows his love every step of the way as he asks me to trust him.

And each time I release, guess what happens? Instead of losing, I RECEIVE. For example, last night I woke up at 2:20 AM and could not go back to sleep. This thought came to mind, "read the letters." The letters were those that some of my Living Hope Church family wrote me to read during the sabbatical. It may seem strange, but I could not get myself to read your letters before last night. Then, last night, I could not go back to sleep until I read your letters. I read all of them in one sitting. (Thank you to all of you who wrote! God used you!). As I read your letters I sensed the Holy Spirit confirming a lesson of growth..."Release leads not to loss...release leads to receive." The very things I fight to hold onto are the very things that stand between what I think is best for me and what God knows is best for me. Jesus put it this way, "Whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will gain it."

So, the word for this week for me is release, but it really means receive.

P.S. I just realized that you could say this also goes along with Lent which begins tomorrow with Ash Wednesday.

Friday, February 20, 2009

"Uncomfortable"

Today we were in the store and two birds flew over head. Anna said, "Birds you not suppose to be inside...go outside." Our three year old spoke great truth. Everything those birds need...food, water...is outside. Moreover, those birds were created to fly free...not be confined to the ceilings of an Odd Lots. However, these truths seemed to make no difference to the birds as they happily flew through the warm aisles of the store.

This week, I was confronted with my own desire to stay where it is warm even though God and I both know that what I really need is outside the safe walls I have created for myself. As I spent a couple of days allowing God to uncover unhealthy lies through the prayer ministry of inner healing, I faced the strong reality that a deep seated part of myself would rather live with lies that I have grown comfortable with however unhealthy, than let Jesus lead me down the uncomfortable path that leads to freedom. Then, as I visited the inner city mission-church in Cincinnati, I thought to myself how much this suburbanite was out of place andwas tempted to think that perhaps this was not the best idea. Then the week culminated with Kimberly tricking me into going to the Dentist. I have not been the dentist since I was 17 years old (its amazing what irrational fear can cause a grown man to do).

As I look back over this week, I can honestly say that every day of this week I found myself being made uncomfortable in some way. Can you believe God would do that to me? I mean, I thought he was all good and all-loving. Isn't it God's job to make me happy, comfortable, meet my every and bless the socks of of me in every way?

That may be what I prefer as I fly around in the warmth of my own comfort zone, but God's love for me is greater than my comfort. He lovingly leads me outside of comfort to the place where he can bring about real, needed, healing and lasting transformation. The place where God does that kind of work in us is in the place called "uncomfortable." Have you ever followed God there? Its the place where your desire to stay comfortable is sacrificed for His desire to make you whole. It is a painfully exciting place to be. It is painful as everything in you fights to stay where you have always been no matter how unhealthy and it is exciting because you know that if you can press on until you break through your comfort zone things that you could never imagine and only God could do will transpire in your life.

Hebrews 12 talks about this process. I encourage you to check it out. In that chapter of the Bible, the writer talks about how God disciplines his children. Discipline means all that goes into raising a child--encouragement, instruction, reprimand, training, rebuke and more. Uncomfortableness is not a sign that you are in the wrong place...it is not God's way of telling you he is mad...it is God's indication that he is ready to move you from where you have come to call home to the wide open sky he died to give you.

So, I have a question...will you and I insist on flying where we are comfortable or will we be so willing to follow Jesus that we let him lead us right in the middle of uncomfortable?

After the third week of sabbatical, the word that seems to be most fitting is uncomfortable.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

"Available"

Kimberly and I have an ongoing, friendly debate about her cell phone. You see, I simply raise the question, "If you do not answer your cell phone, does it make sense to have a cell phone?" Now, she would quickly object that every time she does not answer her cell phone she has a legitimate reason, which I could accept, if it was not every time I call! (I can just see you rolling your eyes and saying that is not true, Kimberly...you'll have to get your own blog if you want your side presented...LOL!).

The point is...when you call someone you hope they are available to talk. A second theme that has emerged in week two of the sabbatical for me is, "Am I available?" Am I available to each moment and each day so much so that if God chooses to reveal himself whatever the moment, that I would not miss the call. You see, I have a problem...may be some of you can relate...I can get so caught up in what needs to be done next that I forget that this moment is all that I know for sure God has given me. And if this moment is what God has given me, then every moment, even menial moments are of value. The questions is am I available? Are you available?

Tuesday night Kimberly was struck with illness. Then, at 10 PM, Anna came out of her room and regurgitated her supper onto our hallway carpet. Normally, I, who tends to have quick gag reflex when it comes to bodily fluids, would have quickly referred the clean up to Kimberly. However, Kimberly was sick and Seth can barely walk, so it was left to me. What a moment, huh? Actually it turned out to be a God-moment. Don't get me wrong, the puke was still nasty and it made me want to puke, but the moment that puke opened up for me and my daughter was divine. The best moment was when, after several more times of vomiting, Anna leaned over to me, put her arm around me, pulled me close and said, "Dad, guess what...I love you so much." As the night and the next day went on moment by moment I heard God whisper, "Chad, every moment is full of me if you will be available."

The truth is, I am not always available to the moment let alone waht God has for me to see of him in the moment...God calls, I don't answer and then I say, "I wonder why God never calls anymore...why do I feel so distant from him?" Hhhhmmmm....I wonder...not even God can talk to me if I am not available...so to all of you I say, "Pick up the phone today, God is calling and to Kimberly, I say, "Pick up the phone, I'm calling!" :-)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

"Waiting"

In Isaiah 40:31 it says, "they that wait on the Lord renew their strength."

I would guess there are many of us for whom waiting is not our favorite activity. Waiting seems like a waste of time...while we are waiting in line or waiting to get through a long list of animated options on the phone, we can practically feel the minutes of life we are loosing that we will never regain. However, the Bible seems to challenge us to rethink waiting. Rather than a passive activity, waiting is to be proactive.

For example, sometimes when I know Kimberly is returning from working out or when I know Grandma and Grandpa are one their way, I take the kids to the front window to wait for them. There is nothing passive about their waiting because their waiting is really a watching. They are watching intently and wholeheartedly for the awaited loved one to arrive. They look up and down the street. Any car that passes, they ask, ""Is that mommy?" There waiting is very active...it is no waste of time...they are watching for someone they love and every minute that passes brings them closer to a warm embrace.

Isn't that waiting on God is all about? Not twiddling our thumbs growing more and more frustrated and impatient, but learning to watch for God in expectation. Watching for God to show up when you wake up in the morning, at work, at the kids practice, at the grocery store, at the gym, at the moment when you can't help but smile and at the moment when you can't help but cry. Those who find renewed strength are those who wait, because those who wait are watching for God. They expect God to show up in any and every moment of life. And Jesus said those who seek will find.

Pretty soon the car pulls around the corner and Anna shouts, "Mommy's home" or "Ma maw and Pap pa are here." Then Seth pounds on the window and squeals in excitement. And I sit back and pray, "Father, help me to learn to wait for you in a way that I watch for you with certain expectation that those who look for you find you wherever and whenever no matter whatever."

As I am in my second day of sabbatical that is my prayer for you and for me...that we will learn that waiting is not a waste of time, but the best way to see God show up!

Feel free to share your thoughts on the message board at www.elivinghope.com at the sabbatical page.