"Release"

This past weekend, I traveled out of state to observe and let God speak through two churches. As we were packing up to head home, I realized that my coat was missing. It had become my favorite coat. Bonnie Watson from Living Hope had snatched it from her son's garage sale rack. It was a looked-like new brown, leather jacket. It fit great and it was juts warm enough, but not too warm of a coat. We turned the hotel room and then the vehicle upside down looking for that coat. We never found it. I did not even wear it on Saturday as I had a heavy sweater on and did not need it. We concluded that it must have fallen out of the car the night before and in the dark we missed it. Kimberly wanted us to retrace our tracks and see if the coat was laying in a parking lot, but since it had snowed the night before and because the chance seemed slim in finding it I decided to accept the loss.

"Accept the loss"...that is a power pact phrase for me, how about you? I like to fight against loss, live in denial of loss, get mad a loss, resent loss, mourn loss...but accept loss...well, that comes much less naturally. However, in week four of sabbatical, God seems to be helping me to relearn release. Release means I open the death grip and just let go...accept the loss...release things from my control to God's. God seems to be inviting me to release several things these days of sabbatical. Frankly, some of it tics me off and some of it breaks my heart and some of it makes me ask a good ole', "Why?" However, my Father, is so gentle and patient. He shows his love every step of the way as he asks me to trust him.

And each time I release, guess what happens? Instead of losing, I RECEIVE. For example, last night I woke up at 2:20 AM and could not go back to sleep. This thought came to mind, "read the letters." The letters were those that some of my Living Hope Church family wrote me to read during the sabbatical. It may seem strange, but I could not get myself to read your letters before last night. Then, last night, I could not go back to sleep until I read your letters. I read all of them in one sitting. (Thank you to all of you who wrote! God used you!). As I read your letters I sensed the Holy Spirit confirming a lesson of growth..."Release leads not to loss...release leads to receive." The very things I fight to hold onto are the very things that stand between what I think is best for me and what God knows is best for me. Jesus put it this way, "Whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will gain it."

So, the word for this week for me is release, but it really means receive.

P.S. I just realized that you could say this also goes along with Lent which begins tomorrow with Ash Wednesday.