Back to School

Back packs, number 2 pencils and that unique smell that seems to linger in every school building...yes, it is that time of year.  For my life, those days are but memories, some good and some you could not pay me money to relive.  However, these days, back to school represents my children sprinting through life. 

People warned me this would happen, "Chad, you'll blink and the next thing you know your babies won't be baies."  I fear I blinked.  Today I wrote in my prayer journal, "Father, help me not to run through life."  I envy those of you who have the gift of living in the moment.  I struggle to be in the moment for planning for the next.  Sometimes that is a strength, but when it comes to not missing the moment, it can be a great pit fall. 

But it is not just blinking that back to school causes me to fret over, but clinging.  Each school year I find myself living in the all the more real tension of holding onto my children while not holding on too tightly.  I find myself tempted to think that I have the responsibility and even the power to protect them.  That is a job that is too big for me.  Only God has the power to protect.  My job as a parent is to prepare.  So, today I told Anna and Seth, there were only two Bible verses I wanted them to recite to: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" and "Do not be afraid or discouraged because God is with you wherever you go."  I said, "This school year when you feel like you just can't do something or learn something or deal with something, pray to Jesus  who gives you strength.  This school year when you feel sad or alone or scared, pray to Jesus who is with you everywhere and all the time.  And then I prayed over them...I spoke life--You are beautiful/handsome, you are so good at learning new things, you are kind and caring and Jesus please guard their hearts and minds with your truth."  As I shared and prayed these things with them I could feel my own struggle as a parent wanting to take on God's job of protecting and not to take responsibility for my job of preparing them to deal with the good and bad of life. 

And then, I smile. I smile because every year with my kids gets better.  I am having more fun as a dad than ever. The baby stage was great, but I love seeing them grow and think and imagine and dream. I love seeing their personalities unfold as they realize their strengths and weaknesses.  And right there, with those thoughts, God reminds me to not miss what there is to gain for what I must leave behind.  What I am loosing with my kids growing up is gaining me something new with them and Him. 

As I think about all of this, I realize something.  Back to school is not something of my yesteryear's, it something God calls me back to with every new school year my kids begin.  "OK, Father, I'm here.  Teach me.  Grow me. Change me this year because I have a whole lot to learn and you are the Master teacher.  Amen."