Forgiveness & Boundaries

This week I have had some very meaningful conversations with multiple people regarding last Sunday’s talk from Ephesians 2.  We talked about how forgiveness removes the dividing wall of hostility.  Just as God has forgiven us, the Bible says, so we ought to forgive others.  When we forgive, as the old saying goes, "The prisoner that is set free is me!"  However, while forgiveness tears down dividing walls of hostility (if even only on our side) it does not tear down the need for healthy, biblical boundaries. 

(Before I go any farther, let me recommend the book I have found most helpful on this subject. I have read it twice and try to apply it daily.  "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of your Life," go to www.cloudtownsend.com to learn more). 

For instance, you recall the account in John 8.  A woman is caught in the act of adultery (of course, we do not know why the Jewish religious leaders did not bring the man who they caught in the act of adultery with her).  She was thrown before Jesus and they said, "The law of Moses says we should stone this woman for her sin.  What do you say, Jesus?"  Jesus kneels as they picked up stones.  Jesus draws in the dirt.  Then, without looking up he says, "Let he who has no sin be the first to cast a stone."  One by one the stones fall to the ground until no one is left but Jesus and the woman.  Jesus asks, "Woman has no one stayed to condemn you?"  "No," she says as she trembles.  "Then", get what Jesus says--he could have cast a stone for he had no sin, "Neither do I condemn you.   Now go and sin no more." 

Did you hear that?  Jesus forgives the woman.  Even before she asks, he gives her forgiveness.  He does the same for us.  Before we asked, he died on the cross and overcame the grave to forgive us.  We are forgiven.  The question is will we receive it?

But Jesus did not just forgive her; he set a boundary so that she could live in on-going freedom in his forgiveness.  Did you catch the boundary?  He said, "Now go and sin no more." 

If Jesus sets boundaries, why would we think that our forgiveness should be any different?  To forgive--to let go of the weight we could hold against someone, does not mean we open the door for the person to sin against us again.  It means we forgive them with healthy boundaries so that they and we can live in the freedom of that forgiveness.

It is not forgiveness or boundaries, it is forgiveness and boundaries.