Spider in the Urinal

We have a spider living in one of the restroom urinals here at LH.  He has been there since Sunday.  I give him credit because that is the one place I am not putting my hand to kill it.  But, I can't help but wonder why a spider would chose a urinal for its home?

Of course, are we really much different? Its not like we people always make much better decisions.  I have found myself setting up camp in some place no better than urinals.  Do you know what I mean?  Why do we put ourselves in situations that stink of sin?  How do we get comfortable in places that any outsider would look at and say, "What were you thinking?"  What makes us stay stuck in habits, hurts and hang-ups as if that's our only choice?  If we are honest, I think we can all say we've lived like a spider in a urinal.  May be some of us are there right now. 

The Apostle Paul writes about this in Romans 7:14-20.  I encourage you to check it out.  I have never had some one read it who has not related to it.  In verse 15 he sums it up, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  Doesn't that sound like life lived in a urinal? 

Like I said, everyone who reads that has always said to me, "That's how I feel.  I relate."  Sadly, it seems some of us read a passage from the Bible like that and justify our existence in the urinal.  But Paul does not write those words so we will stay stuck, but so we will desire to be free.  I encourage you to read what Paul writes in Romans 8. In that chapter he describes the freedom Christ makes possible for us as individuals and as a church. He describes with great detail and passion what it is like to discover life in the Spirit.

God has made us for so much better.  Romans 8:15 says that we have received a spirit of sonship.  We are permitted to cry out to God as "Abba" (Daddy).   And no son or daughter of his need settle for living in a urinal. 

Because

It seems to be a "parent-ism"  The child asks why one too many times and the parent says, "Because I said so."  I heard my parents say that to me a time or two.  I could not believe it the first time I heard those words come out of my mouth as a Dad.  Now that I am a Dad, I now understand that sometimes it really does feel like "Because I said so" is the best and only answer available at times.

In Psalm 91, God the Father gives a different kind of "because" that not only makes sense, but is powerful to hear as his child.

Let me back up a bit.  In the margin of my Bible, next to Psalm 91, I have written, "God said remember this. June 8, 2003."  Since that time I have remembered Psalm 91 and regularly turned to it during challenging times.  Each time since that date I have wondered, "God is this why you said to remember this Psalm."  It now seems he led me to saturate myself in this Psalm in preparation for the last two years.  These last two years have been a learning experience to say the least and every step of the way I have been hearing God speak his truth through Psalm 91.  This Psalm is full of promises for you and me and in verse 14 he tells us why he makes us all of the promises listed (check out these promises for yourself in Psalm 91: 1-13).

"Why do you promises these things, Father?"  His answer comes in verse 14, "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver and honor him."

Did you hear that?  "Because you love him,"  he will rescue, protect, answer, be with, deliver and honor!  Will you receive that today?  All of his promises are available to the one who simply loves him!  I don't know...I can't seem to find the words...all I can say is those promises and his "because" has given me great hope this week. 

I am sorry, I cannot write it better today, but I am convinced that someone else needed to hear the Father's "because" today. 

Full

Once, a long time ago, there was a people who lived in a land that everyone called the Land of the Full.  In this land everyone carried a large cylinder, which was expected by all, to always be full. 

 I guess you could say they had great optimism, perhaps even faith in that way.  They simply believed every person’s cylinder in their land “should be, ought to be, and had a right to be full.” At least that is how the Mayor of the Land of the Full put it each year in his annual address.  Full cylinders were not just a matter of personal importance but a matter of civic duty and pride. 

That is why the Cylinder monitors played such an important role in the town.  The Cylinder monitors did just what their title said, they monitored everyone’s cylinders.  You see, once your cylinder was full you would take your fullness to the Cylinder Monitor who would enter you in the town data base as now being full.  At that moment you would be given a cylinder cover and the Cylinder Monitors would say, “I here by declare your cylinder to be full.  From this time forth your cylinder must always remain covered as that is the only way to keep said cylinder full.” 

Round and round the days and years went like the circle of their cylinders until one day a stranger walked into town.  It was no surprise to see visitors in the Land of the Full because outsiders often came with their empty cylinders hoping to find the secret to being full.  But this stranger was different. He did not come with an empty cylinder.  His cylinder was full.  It was not only full, it was uncovered.  This Stranger quickly became the talk of the town.  The mayor learned that the Stranger was drawing a crowd. Like any good politician, the Mayor was never one to miss the chance to make a public appearance. 

When the Mayor met the stranger, he found himself without words for a moment, which was not at all like him.  He was not accustomed to seeing people with full cylinders walking around with them right out in the open.  Collecting himself, he asked the Stranger to join him for lunch.  As the Mayor and the Stranger sat in the out door seating of the fullest of full restaurants in town, the Mayor said, “I admire your fullness, but why do you not cover your cylinder? After all, the only way to stay full is to keep it covered.”

The Stranger smiled and said, “When you are truly full, you have nothing to hide.”

Before the Mayor could respond, the Stranger stood up.  His eyes were locked on something across the street.  The Mayor tried to ask him where he was going, but all of the Stranger’s attention was now elsewhere.  The Mayor followed the Stranger across the street to an alley side door where people who were full just did not go, but the Stranger would not be stopped until he reached the object of his gaze.  It was a man.  Well, what was left of a man.  He was unshaven, dirty, wreaked with alcohol and sitting beside him was an empty, bone dry cylinder. 

“What is your name?”  The Stranger asked. 

“My name is Pete, but people call me Rocky…” he paused…”they use to call me Rocky.”

“Why don’t they still?” asked the Stranger.

“Because I use to be full.  I use to be somebody. In high school and college I was a star.  The best at everything.  But then, the real world was different. My best didn’t seem to be enough.  No matter how hard I tried it seemed my cylinder kept loosing its fullness.  Then my son got sick.  He died.  My wife left.  And I have nothing left. You can see it…my cylinder is empty.”

The mayor interrupted, “That’s because people like you want to wallow in your loss rather than stand up and be full again.”

The Stranger and Rocky both seemed to ignore the Mayor who he was not exactly used to or pleased with that.

The Stranger said, “Do you want to be full again, Rocky?” 

Rocky, took offense.  “Listen; Stranger, just go on your way. I know I am empty; I don’t need you or the Mayor or anybody else making me feel like I have even less.” 

The Stranger was undeterred, “Do you want to be full?” 

“Well, of course, I want to be full, but I can’t be. Nothing will bring back what I have lost,” said Rocky.

Again, the Stranger asked, “Do you want to be full?” 

Finally, Rocky said nothing.  He couldn’t talk.  The big, gruff guy began to cry.  All he could do to answer was shake his head yes.

The Stranger said, “Give me your cylinder.”

Rocky shook as he handed over his empty cylinder to the Stranger.  And then Rocky saw that Stranger do what he had never seen anyone do in his life.  The Stranger poured his full cylinder into Rocky’s empty one. The more the Stranger poured out his cylinder the fuller Rocky’s became and when Rocky’s was full, the Stranger’s was still full as well.

The mayor did not see this for he had long since left to tell the Cylinder Monitors, but Rocky, full of joy and hope asked, “How did you do that?” 

The Stranger smiled and said, “Come follow me and I will show you.  You see, Rocky, the only way to be full is to be poured out.  For whoever tries to save what’s in their cylinder will come up empty, but those who pour out all they have will always be full.  What does it gain a person to have a full cylinder and yet forfeit his or her very soul?”  From that day on Rocky followed the Stranger everywhere.

One day, the Stranger and Rocky heard angry words, doors slam and tires peal.  They heard the cry of a woman and the panicked scream of a child.  Even empty people with empty cylinders in that empty neighborhood closed their doors and turned their heads, but not the Stranger. He asked Rocky if he knew her. 

Rocky said, “Who doesn’t know her? That is Mary. There certainly isn’t a man in town who doesn’t know her; even some of the fullest men in town know her all too well, if you know what I mean.” 

The Stranger stopped listening and Rocky got the feeling that some how he had crossed a line that the Stranger did not appreciate.  The Stranger walked up to Mary and her little girl with his full cylinder sparkling in the sun.  The child was the first to look up.  “Wow!  Said the child.  The Stranger ran his fingers through the little girls pig tales.  “Do you want some?” he asked?  “Really? Yes, please,” She said reaching for her empty cylinder until her Mother jerked her hand back.  The Stranger was gentle but firm, “Don’t stop this child from receiving what I have to give.  If we adults don’t become more like her, we’ll all end up empty in the end.” 

The mother did not know exactly why but she wanted to trust the stranger.  She let her child give him the empty cylinder.  The Stranger poured his fullness into her emptiness and once again his cylinder stayed full. 

“Did you see that mommy?  He filled my cylinder up and his is still full!”  The girl needed no explanation; she danced around the porch in her fullness. 

So, the mother asked for her, “How did you do that?”

The Stranger said, “The only way to be full is to be poured out, Mary.  For whoever tries to save what’s in their cylinder will come up empty, but those who pour out all they have will always be full.  What does it gain a person to have a full cylinder and yet forfeit his or her very soul?” 

“Its true”, Rocky said, “he did it for me too.”  “Let him have your cylinder.” 

“I don’t deserve it.,” Mary said, “I’m not a good person.  If you knew all that I’ve done…” 

The Stranger gently lifted Mary’s chin so her eyes looked into his, “I know it all, Mary.  I know all you have done wrong as a woman and I know all that was wrong that was done to you way back when you use to wear pig tales.” 

She was trembling now.   For one thing she was afraid…she always felt afraid around men, but she also hoped…she hoped that this man was different.  She thought to herself, “Does he want me for what he can take from me?”

 “No,” the Stranger said, answering her silent thoughts, “I want you for what I can pour into you.”

 And then he took her empty cylinder and began to pour from his fullness filling her emptiness, yet his cylinder still full. 

The Stranger smiled and said, “Come follow me, Mary, and I will show you that the only way to be full is to be poured out.” From that day on Mary and her daughter followed the Stranger everywhere.

And every where he went the Stranger did the same thing!  He poured out his fullness into emptiness and he stayed full.  People all over town who had never known what it was like to be full were now overflowing!  Laughter replaced crying, joy replaced anger, and hope replaced fear.  It was amazing! 

But then in to the joy came a heart breaking scream.  “NOOOOOOO”, came the cry of a Mother and Father.  The Stranger and his followers went straight to the place of the pain.  Beside the parents lay their dead teenage son.  It was too much for Rocky.  He turned to walk out full of his own memories of the loss of his child.  But the Stranger gripped Rocky’s arm.  He said, “They need what you have, Rocky” 

“I can’t help them, only you can,” Rocky said. 

But the Stranger said, “I can‘t help them, if you won’t.” 

Rocky stood still for what seemed like an eternity.  Then without a word, he picked up his full cylinder, walked right up to the young man’s corpse, grabbed the empty cylinder and poured his fullness into the dead boy’s emptiness and suddenly the one that was dead gasped for air.  The parents were shocked and then overwhelmed with relief.  And someone asked, “Rocky, how is your cylinder still full?” 

He just smiled and said, “Come follow my Friend and he will show you what he has shown me: the only way to be full is to be poured out.  For whoever tries to save what’s in their cylinder will come up empty, but those who pour out all they have will always be full.  What does it gain a person to have a full cylinder and yet forfeit his or her very soul?” The Father said, tomorrow, we follow, tonight we celebrate! 

During the celebration there was a quiet knock on the door.  The Stranger, that many now called Friend, answered the door.  It was one of the Cylinder Monitors.  The Stranger went out and the Cylinder Monitor shut the door. He talked quietly and quickly as if he were afraid of being caught. “I am Nick, I believe what you say is true.  I can prove it.”

He uncovered his cylinder.  The Stranger covered his nose.  There was the stench of death in Nick’s cylinder. The water in his cylinder did not sparkle, it was black and stagnate.  And most of all, it was not full. 

“This is why they tell us to keep our cylinder’s covered so neither we nor anyone else will see how empty we really are,” explained Nick.  “So, tell me, teacher, how can I be full again?”

The Stranger told Nick what he told everyone else, “The only way to be full is to be poured out.”

But, at least for now, Nick was too afraid of loosing what he had to risk having all that the Stranger promised.  But before he left, he warned the stranger that that mayor of the other Cylinder monitors were plotting against him. To which the Stranger said, “I know.”

Well, the story from here becomes unpleasant to say the least, but by the end of business on Friday, they had managed to unfairly and cruelly drain every last drop of the Stranger’s cylinder.  He had nothing left to give.  And when that was not enough for them, they took his very life.  Its always shocking and yet sadly expected when we see just how far people will go to keep what they have. 

Rocky and the other followers were sacred and felt empty all over again. But Mary couldn’t take it any more.  She stood up and said, “I refuse not to show my final respect to the man who filled us all up.”  She stormed off to the cemetery where the Stranger’s empty cylinder was displayed as an example to all.  She fell on her knees and sobbed.  Her tears began to fill the Strangers now cold, empty cylinder.  Then, she heard a familiar voice, “Mary, why do you weep?  Have I not told you, the only way to be full is to be poured out.  For whoever tries to save what’s in their cylinder will come up empty, but those who pour out all they have will always be full.  What does it gain a person to have a full cylinder and yet forfeit his or her very soul?” Mary ran and told the others and they believed.  We know they believed because they lived the rest of their lives pouring their fullness it into the emptiness of others.  Many of them even gave their very lives to show that those who are full are those who are poured out.

And over 2000 years later there are still people, people like our brother from Liberia, people like you LH family, who dare to risk it all and discover for themselves that only way to be full is to be poured out. For Jesus says in Matthew 16:25-26, “For whoever wants to save his or her life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me, will find it.  What good will it be for a man or woman if he or she gains the whole world, yet forfeits his or her soul?”

Blind Man Fighting

Living Hope member, Jason Hall, introduced me to the song, "Eyes on You" by Shane and Shane from there album, "Bring Nothing."  I have listened to this song about 100 times in the past week.  I truly resonates with me at this season of my life.  Every time I hear it, I am reminded of the promise of Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  The Scripture and the song remind me that in a world that demands clarity, what if faith is best experienced in those times when the only thing that is clear is God's faithfulness.  I hope the lyrics to this song speaks to some other fellow "blind man or woman fighting the world" out there today!  Here are the songs lyrics:

I don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
You say that I can hear Your voice
So I am listening

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

I still don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I still don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
As long as You are lifted up
I don't have to understand

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

The battle is the Lord's
So I'll walk towards You in the dark
Cause I know that in the end we win
So I'm all in
Lead me I'm Yours

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

Time for a Date

Last week I noticed that our daughter Anna (age 7) was having a hard time.  She seemed very sensitive and like she was trying to get my attention in all the wrong ways. Finally, on Sunday afternoon I asked, "Anna, what is wrong?  What do you need?" 

She started to cry.  "Daddy, I just think I need a date with you.  I miss you." 

Well, that's all it took...big, firm dad became a sap on the spot...My heart melted.  I pulled her close and said, "We can have a date tonight." 

A few hours later I was opening the door for her at the, always classy, and her favorite place for a date with me, Taco Bell.  She reserved "our seats" and for about an hour I stared into the big brown eyes of my baby girl as she downloaded everything that she felt like she had not had time to share with me.  We walked out of Taco Bell, she squeezed my hand and said, "I love you, Daddy."  All she needed was a little time.

Friends, I am eating that up for as long as I can get it because I know full well that time is growing shorter with every second.  But in the past year I have experienced a similar need with my Father in heaven that one will never outgrow.

The past year, for me, has had some very dark days, but in the midst of some bouts of tears, hurt and anger, it is almost as if I could hear the Father asking a question he already knew the answer to:  "What's wrong?  What do you need?" 

About a year ago, I cried out, "I just need you.  I need to feel your presence and hear your voice again.  I miss you."  God has honored that cry by allowing me to be deprived of sleep. Whether I have been awoken in the middle of the night or hours before what is necessary, the Father keeps inviting me on dates with him.  He gives me time to download all that is whirling around in me.  And like the psalmists teach us in the Bible, we can share it all with him and I have.  I have found myself engaged in uncensored prayers that would surely make even mature believers squirm, but not my Father.  He listens and then he leads.  I have been amazed at how he leads me to and through his Word gently speaking exactly what I need to hear.

I met with a new person to our church family this week.  She has this awesome story of how God has been courting her.  She said the other day she had been asking God how she could know his voice and she "randomly" opened her Bible to 1 Kings 19:11-13:

¹¹ The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
 
The new person to our church family said she read this and then she knew..."God is in the whisper."

If we can hear him in the whisper, we can hear him anywhere; right?  But to hear him in the whisper, we have to set aside the time to "date" him.  Time just to BE with him. In the book named after him, the half brother of Jesus, James, says, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."  

Do you feel disconnected?  Weary?  Frustrated?  Discouraged? Alone? May be what you need more than what you think you need is to simply, but desperately cry out,
"Daddy, I just think I need a date with you.  I miss you." 

And friends, if I, as a wicked earthly father, will answer that cry immediately for my daughter, how much more is the Father in heaven willing to answer that prayer for you, his child.  Go ahead.  You have the time and if not, then its worth making the time, ask the Father out on a date today.  I know he would love to share more than a taco with you.

Get Back Up

Last night I came home from work and our son, Seth (age 5) was ready to talk.  His Kindergarten teacher had shared about the all-school roller skating party that night.  He was so excited. 

"Daddy, can I go?  Mommy said she would have to talk to you.  What did you say?"  He asked. 

His sister did not want to go, so it became as he called it a "boys night." 

As we drove to the skating rink, he wondered which of his new found friends might attend.  He named all the kids in his class he could remember and described in great detail those whose names he did not know.  I love how people-oriented he is (He does not get that extroversion from me). 

"Hi!" he said with great enthusiasm to each of his classmates as we arrived.

We laced up his skates and he was off.  Or, I guess I should say, down.  He fell and fell and fell and no sooner would he get up that he fell again.  I actually began to hurt for the poor little guy.  I was even tempted to rush to his aid, but there is only one way to learn to skate and he was doing it:  Every time he fell, he got back up. 

He was determined to get to the middle of the rink where beginners were allowed to practice because two of his classmates had made it there.  He skated and fell and got back up again all the way across the rink.  Finally, he made it to his classmates only to fall again. Which is when the boy and girl in his class leaned down, said something to him and offered a hand.  Of course, they did not do that again because then they fell down, too.  In fact, they fell down and got back up again almost as much as Seth.

I wrote in my prayer journal last night that while I was watching Seth and his friends fall and get back up over and over again, it became an unexpected, meaningful moment with God for me.  I found myself saying, "Wow, Father!  Look how Seth keeps getting back up! I was never like that. Lord, you know I would have given up about 20 falls ago.  Thank you that Seth is not like me." 

And then, quietly, in that still small voice that was louder than all the roller skating party noise and music, God's Spirit whispered to my spirit, "May be the son can teach the Dad something tonight."  The Father always knows right where to get us, doesn't he?  I began to tear up, but I shut that down...no need to embarrass myself or my boy.  But as I kept watching him fall and get up, it was like the Father was saying to me, "It doesn't matter how many times you fall or you get knocked down as long as you get back up."  I wish I could explain to you what those words mean to me.  Certainly, He is speaking to something so close to my heart and so deep in my spirit that I won't even attempt to explain it, but I have a feeling a few of you may know exactly what I am talking about.  You know what I mean not because you know what this all means to me, but because it means something to you, too.  "It doesn't matter how many times you fall or you get knocked down as long as you get back up."

When we got back to the house, Anna asked, "Did Seth fall any?"  I gave her the answer the Father gave me, "Anna, it doesn't matter how many times he fell.  What matters is how many times he got back up! And I am so proud of Seth for that!"

I certainly think this applies to this 911 anniversary today.  There will always be somebody or something that will blow up buildings and destroy lives.  Jesus said that such comes straight from hell itself (see John 10).  Certainly we will all get knocked down, there is no question about that...But what does remain in question is whetaher or not, in the name of Christ, we will get back up.  That is why Jesus was knocked down by the cross so he could show us that through God's love and power we can even climb back up out of the grave.  Praise be to God!

"Father, we pray for all those directly impacted by the loss of a loved one on 911.  By your love and power will you use your Church to help people get back up. Amen."

"If You Would Just Look" by Nicole Sizemore

This week my random thoughts are not mine.  They come from Living Hope Member and fellow Jesus Freak, Nicole Sizemore.  I can't say it better, so this one is all you, Nicole! 

"I have been thinking... you get what you look for. I remember my first time at Living Hope Church, I was sitting there an uncomfortable sweaty hot mess trying to gain my composure after the worship band's beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace (my chains are gone), and then Pastor Chad takes the stage and starts talking about how when he was little and couldn't find things Ms. Rose would always ask "well did you look?" Pretty soon he had me laughing and relaxed just enough to open up to his message about going through life blind. It was a life changing day for me, and I will never forget it. When I was little and I couldn't find something my ma maw would always say "Nikki! if you would just look" and then grab whatever it was right out from under my nose. So yesterday I was sitting in the drive through jamming out to "My Savior lives", letting lose in full worship mode and this older gentleman walks by and starts singing with me. Before I could die from embarrassment he shoots me a thumbs up...and I had to laugh. Then I thought "man I have never in my life came across as many Jesus freaks as I have the last few months or so" and then I heard my ma maw say "well if you would just look!" That got me thinking about how you really do find what you look for. There was never any shortage of trouble when I went searching. I used to know a million different ways to find a million different things that were terrible for me. And the saddest thing is you don't even have to be looking for really bad things like heroin or cocaine...you can wake up in the morning "looking" for your boss to be a jerk, or a terrible drive to work, or your kids to be bratty. You can look for all sorts of things that make you unhappy, or even discontent, and you will find those things. But say if you look at the job you are blessed with, the car you have to drive, the beautiful children whose crankiness will leave a gaping hole one day when they are all grown up, look at that stuff instead, look for the blessing behind every inconvenience and you will start to find those blessings. Look for miracles and you will see them all over and every day! I am not claiming that I got it all together by any means, I look for trouble all the time by worrying about things that I have no control over, but I have also spent a lot less time lately praying for all things I need and praising for what I have instead. I see blessings everywhere! and the more I see the more I look so the more I see... get it? I think Jesus said something like "seek and ye will find" or something like that (I will "look" it up later harhar), but pretty much I think what He said was you get what you look for. Peace, love and prayers my friends!!"