"Mature Faith"

On Monday I stood in the excavations of the City of Caesarea. (This was the place where Herod the Great built the first man-made port, the place where Paul was put on trial, the place where Pontius Pilate Governed (the one who handed Jesus over to be crucified), etc. ). Herod built a large hippodrome (circus theater) facing the beautiful Mediterranean Sea. It was here that eventually Followers of Christ would die as Roman citizens watched them be devoured by wild animals in the name of entertainment.

Then we stood on the Temple Mount. (This is the place where Muslims have built the “Dome of the Rock”—it is the large, gold dome that commemorates the place where Muslims believe Abraham offered to sacrifice his son Ishmael. But before the Muslims possessed it, it was the place of the Holy of Holies in the temple of Israel. The place where the Bible tells us Abraham offered to sacrifice his son Isaac, but at the last minute God provided a lamb.) While standing at this site one of the professors asked our guide if we could sing a song. The guide quickly answered, “If you are going to sing, please tell me so I can run!” You see, it is forbidden that any other religion’s readings or songs be voiced here. If you do, the guide said, you would begin a serious uprising and guns would be drawn.

Then we went down to the pit. It is the actual pit where Jesus was put for the night after his mock trial in Chiapas’ (the High Priest) house. Our Savior was thrown down a hole about 3 feet wide into a pitch black pit filled with water at the bottom. He bled there threw the night awaiting his ultimate suffering and death on our behalf.

Finally, we ended the day in Bethlehem. As you know Bethlehem is on the West Bank and controlled by Palestine. I was surprised to learn that about 40% of the people in Bethlehem are Followers of Jesus. We stopped at the store of a Christian Arab who knows a couple of the Seminary Professors. Before we shopped, he gathered us together and with a deep pain in his eyes, pleaded with us to pray. He said, “Please pray. Please pray…pray that the eyes of the leaders of both sides will be opened and that they will see that this conflict will never be resolved by force. Please pray for harmony and peace.” Later one of the professors with us explained that the store owner has turned his store into ministry. Muslim Palestinians refuse to hire people they know are Christians. So, he uses his store to hire as many people as he can to try to help his brothers and sisters in Christ. In the meantime he is saving money to try to buy a home in a foreign land so that when (not if), when he has to flee for safety, he and others will have a place to live.

Why do I share these stories with you? Because on my 7th week of Sabbatical, the word that comes to mind is mature faith. There is immature faith and there is mature faith. Immature faith is a fair weather faith…when life is good my faith is good, when life is poor, my faith is poor. Mature faith is a faith that stays true even when the circumstances of life are difficult, unfair and down right persecuting. Perhaps the reason the church in America is, over all, very weak is because it is made up of believers who are largely immature. We have it so easy, that our spiritual lives have been stunted. Who knows, may be the present economic crisis is an opportunity not caused by God (clearly it has been caused by our own human choices of greed), but allowed by him to give us the opportunity to experience the peace, joy and courage of a mature faith. Or may be you, personally, are facing a time of struggle in some other way…a broken relationship, a crisis of health, a battle with depression, a fight against addiction…what would happen if we saw every trial as an opportunity not to be defeated, but to be matured?

I know this is not the feel good message that I like to hear, but it is the message I for one need to hear. After all, life does not always feel good…I know that..but what I need to know more so is that faith in Jesus is so real that no matter what comes in life, even death, that instead of falling apart I can stand in a real hope that says, “Come what may, Jesus is with me and nothing…no, nothing can take that away!”

If you want to go deeper in this thought give James 1 and Ephesians 4 a read and then take a moment to pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ in Bethlehem. Then take a moment to pray for those who call us their enemies. Finally, during this season of Lent, let us pray that God would teach us how to accept difficult as THE PATH that leads to mature faith.

"Grateful"

Last week was a week of celebration in our home. It was Anna's third birthday. The actual day of her birthday we went to Young's Dairy for dinner. While in the dining room I shouted for everyone to hear, "Everyone it is Anna's third birthday." The place erupted with applause and cheers. Anna hid her face but she could not hide her smile. Then on Saturday all of our family gathered at our house for a "princess Birthday party". Jen Watkins from our church family made an amazing cake that looked like a castle. Anna was so excited to have her cousins in town and loved the extra attention that she got from her grandparents and the rest of the family. It was a fun day (even though something inside of me could not believe that my baby girl seemed so grown up already). Then on Monday morning, as I was preparing breakfast (i.e. pouring cereal in a bowl), Anna said, "Dad, let's have my birthday again!" Such are the words of true gratitude. So grateful was she for the birthday experience that the only thing that could make it better was to do it all over again.

Grateful is the word that best sums up my experience in week six of my sabbatical. To be a Follower of Christ means to follow Christ down the path of gratitude. To be a Christian is to be grateful. Thanks and praise are as core to our faith as confession or any other aspect. Think about it...every week we call ourselves together from our various life ventures to worship together. And at the core of worship is not me and you as individuals, but an expression of corporate gratitude for what God has done, does and will do and for who He is. "While we were yet sinners God demonstrated his love for us in this: He sacrificed his son." Talk about reason to give thanks...while I was yet totally self-absorbed and uninterested in relationship with God, the Father made the ultimate love act on my behalf. That is powerful! Christian people ought to be the most continually grateful people in the world.

One thing I have come to appreciate from our Brothers and Sisters in Celebrate Recovery and AA is something called a gratitude list. It is taking the time to sit down and just start writing all one has for which to be grateful. They say this is especially important on those days when you feel like there is nothing to be grateful. My friend, Greg Hurst, once explained it this way, "Everyone has some ting to be thankful for. You may have a day that is so bad that it is hard to think of something, but if you can thank God that you can tie your shoes that will get you started and before long you will overflow with a list that could go on and on." Of course, CR and AA got this principle form the Bible. The Bible says in more than one place to give thanks in all circumstances. Why? Because thanks moves our focus from what is going from to what is going right and when we can see what is going right we are able to see WHO is right even when everything is going wrong. Our Father is always right in love, mercy, strength, comfort...

So, today, as I sit in the airport preparing to leave on a trip that has been a lifelong dream, I am grateful. If you are willing to keep reading, I would love to have you look in on a portion of my gratitude list...

I am grateful for...
this opportunity to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. For me it is deeply personal and spiritual.
the realization that even though I am excited about this trip, I have a big ache in my heart for the time I will be away from my wife and children. I already miss them and I thank God for that. I have a home that I can't wait to get back to and that is a tremendous gift that is largely do to a wife who has made our home a refuge.
family...as I leave I know that Kimberly and the kids will be surrounded by grandparents and other family members. And this is no exception to the rule, this is just how our family is to us and we are so grateful.
church family....as I have been away, more than ever, I have come to see that I just happen to be the pastor of the most incredible church family in the world. Truly you are not just people I work for, but people our family loves and is loved by like family. Thank you. I love and miss you.
My Father in Heaven....all he wants is intimate, life-changing, world-changing relationship with me. The one that holds it all wants to hold me. How col is that!

Thanks for listening in...my prayer for you and me both is that someday we will get to the end of our lives and look back and, like Anna, say, "Let's do it again." Something tells me that the only way one has a life like that is to live a life of gratitude.

"Admit"

Admit represents a disturbing theme of Lent...it brings up a challenging theme of this sabbbatical...admit...If you are like me, admit is not a favorite word. Just ask my wife and she will tell you that I have a slight (that's me putting it nicer than she would) problem with admitting when I am wrong. I am good at making excuses and blaming...I am actually quite a pro at such avoidance tactics, but admitting does not come easily. Strong walls come up with the suggestion that it is time to admit anything. These walls tell me such convincing lies as, "Admitting your shortcomings will leave you vulnerable," "Admitting your weaknesses makes you weak," "Admitting your faults makes you less." And so when it is time to admit anything, it would seem that strong lines of defense raise up from deep within to wage an all-out war to keep me from being completely honest with myself, those I love and even my Father in Heaven.

Each time I face this impending war, I realize that "admit" is the key that unlocks my door to greater freedom. However, that door will not be unlocked unless I choose to make the word admit a choice of my will. The will is a powerful gift from God. It is dangerously powerful. My will is the place where God has established a "no trespassing sign." Think about that...the Almighty limits his power in respect to my will. That means that my choice allows me to genuinely and freely choose between life and death, blessing and curses. And perhaps before every other choice lies the choice to admit or not admit. For instance, will I admit a need, a hurt, a fear, a desire, a regret, a struggle, a dream...?

These past five weeks I have been challenged to make a choice to admit many things to God and thus to myself. For example, in week five of my sabbatical I admit that I am more soul-tired than I had even been willing to see. I also admit that while I am not one to be controlled by what people think at large, I do have a few people in my life that I sometimes allow their approval to be more driving than God's approval. I admit that I am ready for God to show me who he wants me to be as a pastor and not what I or other voices may think.

Each time I let God give me the strength to admit before him what is for good or for bad inside of me, God turns a dark door knob and opens before me new light...bright light...glorious light...hope-filled light...awe-inspiring light...bright light that hurts my eyes at first glance, but as my once-darkened eyes adjust I smile in joy as I see in a new way.

Admitting requires intense honestly with oneself and with God. It is something that my natural self always initially resists, but, by God's grace, whenever I stop resisting and make a choice of my will to simply admit, it is amazing how light chases away the darkness.

"Release"

This past weekend, I traveled out of state to observe and let God speak through two churches. As we were packing up to head home, I realized that my coat was missing. It had become my favorite coat. Bonnie Watson from Living Hope had snatched it from her son's garage sale rack. It was a looked-like new brown, leather jacket. It fit great and it was juts warm enough, but not too warm of a coat. We turned the hotel room and then the vehicle upside down looking for that coat. We never found it. I did not even wear it on Saturday as I had a heavy sweater on and did not need it. We concluded that it must have fallen out of the car the night before and in the dark we missed it. Kimberly wanted us to retrace our tracks and see if the coat was laying in a parking lot, but since it had snowed the night before and because the chance seemed slim in finding it I decided to accept the loss.

"Accept the loss"...that is a power pact phrase for me, how about you? I like to fight against loss, live in denial of loss, get mad a loss, resent loss, mourn loss...but accept loss...well, that comes much less naturally. However, in week four of sabbatical, God seems to be helping me to relearn release. Release means I open the death grip and just let go...accept the loss...release things from my control to God's. God seems to be inviting me to release several things these days of sabbatical. Frankly, some of it tics me off and some of it breaks my heart and some of it makes me ask a good ole', "Why?" However, my Father, is so gentle and patient. He shows his love every step of the way as he asks me to trust him.

And each time I release, guess what happens? Instead of losing, I RECEIVE. For example, last night I woke up at 2:20 AM and could not go back to sleep. This thought came to mind, "read the letters." The letters were those that some of my Living Hope Church family wrote me to read during the sabbatical. It may seem strange, but I could not get myself to read your letters before last night. Then, last night, I could not go back to sleep until I read your letters. I read all of them in one sitting. (Thank you to all of you who wrote! God used you!). As I read your letters I sensed the Holy Spirit confirming a lesson of growth..."Release leads not to loss...release leads to receive." The very things I fight to hold onto are the very things that stand between what I think is best for me and what God knows is best for me. Jesus put it this way, "Whoever tries to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will gain it."

So, the word for this week for me is release, but it really means receive.

P.S. I just realized that you could say this also goes along with Lent which begins tomorrow with Ash Wednesday.

"Uncomfortable"

Today we were in the store and two birds flew over head. Anna said, "Birds you not suppose to be inside...go outside." Our three year old spoke great truth. Everything those birds need...food, water...is outside. Moreover, those birds were created to fly free...not be confined to the ceilings of an Odd Lots. However, these truths seemed to make no difference to the birds as they happily flew through the warm aisles of the store.

This week, I was confronted with my own desire to stay where it is warm even though God and I both know that what I really need is outside the safe walls I have created for myself. As I spent a couple of days allowing God to uncover unhealthy lies through the prayer ministry of inner healing, I faced the strong reality that a deep seated part of myself would rather live with lies that I have grown comfortable with however unhealthy, than let Jesus lead me down the uncomfortable path that leads to freedom. Then, as I visited the inner city mission-church in Cincinnati, I thought to myself how much this suburbanite was out of place andwas tempted to think that perhaps this was not the best idea. Then the week culminated with Kimberly tricking me into going to the Dentist. I have not been the dentist since I was 17 years old (its amazing what irrational fear can cause a grown man to do).

As I look back over this week, I can honestly say that every day of this week I found myself being made uncomfortable in some way. Can you believe God would do that to me? I mean, I thought he was all good and all-loving. Isn't it God's job to make me happy, comfortable, meet my every and bless the socks of of me in every way?

That may be what I prefer as I fly around in the warmth of my own comfort zone, but God's love for me is greater than my comfort. He lovingly leads me outside of comfort to the place where he can bring about real, needed, healing and lasting transformation. The place where God does that kind of work in us is in the place called "uncomfortable." Have you ever followed God there? Its the place where your desire to stay comfortable is sacrificed for His desire to make you whole. It is a painfully exciting place to be. It is painful as everything in you fights to stay where you have always been no matter how unhealthy and it is exciting because you know that if you can press on until you break through your comfort zone things that you could never imagine and only God could do will transpire in your life.

Hebrews 12 talks about this process. I encourage you to check it out. In that chapter of the Bible, the writer talks about how God disciplines his children. Discipline means all that goes into raising a child--encouragement, instruction, reprimand, training, rebuke and more. Uncomfortableness is not a sign that you are in the wrong place...it is not God's way of telling you he is mad...it is God's indication that he is ready to move you from where you have come to call home to the wide open sky he died to give you.

So, I have a question...will you and I insist on flying where we are comfortable or will we be so willing to follow Jesus that we let him lead us right in the middle of uncomfortable?

After the third week of sabbatical, the word that seems to be most fitting is uncomfortable.

"Available"

Kimberly and I have an ongoing, friendly debate about her cell phone. You see, I simply raise the question, "If you do not answer your cell phone, does it make sense to have a cell phone?" Now, she would quickly object that every time she does not answer her cell phone she has a legitimate reason, which I could accept, if it was not every time I call! (I can just see you rolling your eyes and saying that is not true, Kimberly...you'll have to get your own blog if you want your side presented...LOL!).

The point is...when you call someone you hope they are available to talk. A second theme that has emerged in week two of the sabbatical for me is, "Am I available?" Am I available to each moment and each day so much so that if God chooses to reveal himself whatever the moment, that I would not miss the call. You see, I have a problem...may be some of you can relate...I can get so caught up in what needs to be done next that I forget that this moment is all that I know for sure God has given me. And if this moment is what God has given me, then every moment, even menial moments are of value. The questions is am I available? Are you available?

Tuesday night Kimberly was struck with illness. Then, at 10 PM, Anna came out of her room and regurgitated her supper onto our hallway carpet. Normally, I, who tends to have quick gag reflex when it comes to bodily fluids, would have quickly referred the clean up to Kimberly. However, Kimberly was sick and Seth can barely walk, so it was left to me. What a moment, huh? Actually it turned out to be a God-moment. Don't get me wrong, the puke was still nasty and it made me want to puke, but the moment that puke opened up for me and my daughter was divine. The best moment was when, after several more times of vomiting, Anna leaned over to me, put her arm around me, pulled me close and said, "Dad, guess what...I love you so much." As the night and the next day went on moment by moment I heard God whisper, "Chad, every moment is full of me if you will be available."

The truth is, I am not always available to the moment let alone waht God has for me to see of him in the moment...God calls, I don't answer and then I say, "I wonder why God never calls anymore...why do I feel so distant from him?" Hhhhmmmm....I wonder...not even God can talk to me if I am not available...so to all of you I say, "Pick up the phone today, God is calling and to Kimberly, I say, "Pick up the phone, I'm calling!" :-)

"Waiting"

In Isaiah 40:31 it says, "they that wait on the Lord renew their strength."

I would guess there are many of us for whom waiting is not our favorite activity. Waiting seems like a waste of time...while we are waiting in line or waiting to get through a long list of animated options on the phone, we can practically feel the minutes of life we are loosing that we will never regain. However, the Bible seems to challenge us to rethink waiting. Rather than a passive activity, waiting is to be proactive.

For example, sometimes when I know Kimberly is returning from working out or when I know Grandma and Grandpa are one their way, I take the kids to the front window to wait for them. There is nothing passive about their waiting because their waiting is really a watching. They are watching intently and wholeheartedly for the awaited loved one to arrive. They look up and down the street. Any car that passes, they ask, ""Is that mommy?" There waiting is very active...it is no waste of time...they are watching for someone they love and every minute that passes brings them closer to a warm embrace.

Isn't that waiting on God is all about? Not twiddling our thumbs growing more and more frustrated and impatient, but learning to watch for God in expectation. Watching for God to show up when you wake up in the morning, at work, at the kids practice, at the grocery store, at the gym, at the moment when you can't help but smile and at the moment when you can't help but cry. Those who find renewed strength are those who wait, because those who wait are watching for God. They expect God to show up in any and every moment of life. And Jesus said those who seek will find.

Pretty soon the car pulls around the corner and Anna shouts, "Mommy's home" or "Ma maw and Pap pa are here." Then Seth pounds on the window and squeals in excitement. And I sit back and pray, "Father, help me to learn to wait for you in a way that I watch for you with certain expectation that those who look for you find you wherever and whenever no matter whatever."

As I am in my second day of sabbatical that is my prayer for you and for me...that we will learn that waiting is not a waste of time, but the best way to see God show up!

Feel free to share your thoughts on the message board at www.elivinghope.com at the sabbatical page.